Tuesday, October 23, 2012

an adventure with an asshole and godzilla the cockroach!

Intro to a few more characters... and then a short story...

boy #4
We will call this one sperm donor... so SD. As I am sure you can guess, he is the the father of my two children. SD is a manipulative asshole, who thinks the world revolves around himself. Since the day he became a father he has refused to accept and take responsibility. After years of trying to make him want to be a father, I have given up and will fight my heart out to keep my children by my side. A man full of threats and insults, isn't really a man at all I guess. 

girl #1
Lets call her Boss Lady. Boss Lady has been an awesome employer from the beginning and I couldn't ask for a better one. She is caring, funny, and always tells it how it is. She has become a great friend and has taught me so much about the lifestyle I try to keep up. She helps me balance out some craziness, and if you get our creative wheels turning we will go on for hours until we have some random thing planned down to the most minuscule detail. We will be up for HOURS on end in the middle of the night, sending links back and fourth for little projects or ideas. I love being around her, EVEN when she ruins her own Christmas present for herself... and I have to yell at her! 

girl #2
Skinny Minnie we shall say. Skinny Minnie is a coworker of mine, a republican and a hilarious one at that. This girl will pop out kids until they just fall right on out... her words "it gets easier every time" hehehe! Skinny Minnie is quite, but very tell it how it is.... just the way I like people! 

On a rainy Tuesday in October.........

{{background: Boss Lady and I went to Louisville KY for a work event, my ONLY request for our hotel, NO COCKROACHES! One day after getting home, while watching tv with Chef J (boy#1) I go to get a glass of juice, and a GIGANTIC FUCKING COCKROACH SKITTERS ACROSS THE COUNTER! Here in WI, we dont have giant cockroaches, they cant handle the colder climate. So the little bastard must have hitched a ride in my BAG (EW GAG GAG GAG) This all happened a week ago, and in the past week I have cockroach sprayed the shit out of our house!}}

  Today started out as a typical work day. I gave myself time to stop and enjoy my mocha where Chef J works, balanced my checkbook while doing so, and did my normal people watching. After I was good and espresso'd up, I walked to work.
  I arrived an hour or so early, so I just chatted and helped inventory some new products. I was filling out price tags for the new product and in waltzes SD and his bitchy little sister. Knowing very well he is trying to cause problems for me at work, Boss Lady tells me that its ok to leave for a bit if needed. After a few crude comments, Skinny Minnie put together who he was and took over dealing with the Bitchy sister. I tried to busy myself and hide out, SD decided it was a great time and place to bring up seeing his kids and the child support he hasn't paid in over 3 months. Trying very hard not to initiate a fight with him in my place of work, I told SD what he wanted to hear and kept about my business. I happened to be behind the counter with Skinny Minnie when his Bitchy sister checked out. As Bitchy sister checked out, SD pulls out a wad of $20 bills and says "see this, Ill pay for her stuff, see, I haven't been working" waving around his wad of cash in front of Skinny Minnie, and Boss Lady. I wanted SO badly to reach over the counter and bitch slap him. But I did my best to keep my cool, and ignore him. Skinny Minnie was as irritated and shocked as I was. Both she and Boss Lady were NOT impressed, and by then, I was shaking uncontrollably. I continued to shake for the rest of the day. 
 After work I made my way over to see Chef J for the last little bit the deli was open, and to get another mocha of course.  I knew he would talk me down, and let me vent. Which of course, he did. Chef J let me vent for 20 minutes or so while he did various closing duties. He was very sweet in making me feel as though someone cared that I was ok, and that SD wasn't able to harm me or follow through on the threats he had made. I left the deli more calm than had been all day. 
 Upon arriving home, I snuggled with my babies, and we ate dinner, chicken and mac and cheese for the kids, and imitation crab salad on a bun for E and I. Yea, yea, nothing real amazing. After dinner, I finished some sewing projects and began shaking again. Knowing I needed to get out and get some fresh air, I opted to drop off  gift for another coworker. 
 I arrived at the store where the ladies were working and gave her the gift, she loved it. I stayed and chatted with those ladies for about an hour, trying to get my mind off of the crazy day I had thus far. 
 After arriving home for the second time, I did some more sewing and kissed my babies goodnight. E put the kids to bed, and sat down to watch TV.  I joined E after my project was finished and became increasingly tired. I kissed him goodnight and came up to bed, only to hear ten minutes later, "I JUST SAW HOWARD!!{giant cockroach from kentucky}" and a few thumps and thuds later, "I GOT HIM, but my head is bleeding" floated up the stairs. I jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs. After making my way to the kitchen to find the stove pulled out and E hunched over in the corner, E says " Its behind the stove, how does my head look?" I peered over the top of the stove, to see the damn thing still wriggling and trying to get off of its back. I said "OW," as there was a 2 inch scrape on the top of his BICed head bleeding profusely, "spray it some more" I said, "its still moving!!". he gives me the stink eye and says "trust me! I sprayed it enough!!". Thinking the damn thing shouldn't even be squirming or it could crawl away I yelled, "GIVE ME THE DAMN CAN!" and I snatched it out of his hand. Squirting the disgusting bug some more, He says " DON'T! You're wasting spray!". Not being able to reach it, being behind the stove and all, I just wanted the damn thing DEAD, I demanded he pull the stove out all the way. When I managed to get the stove out the rest of the way, He told me to smash it. WELL NO SHIT SHERLOCK, what else am I going to do? watch the fucking thing wriggle?  The Godzilla roach, is safely smashed into 6 or so different pieces, and flushed down the toilet, now only to spray the basement down again to surely eliminate any egg sacs. '

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